


Bitter and Lonely

by Anti_Gravity



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6019666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anti_Gravity/pseuds/Anti_Gravity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessika's not bitter and lonely. She's not. She's just sick of everyone shoving their relationships in her face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter and Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Just in time for the end of Valentine's Day. I felt like the reyva ship deserved another oneshot added to the collection in honor of all my fellow foreveralone.jpg shippers.

“If I have to hear one more word about how in love Poe and Finn are with each other, I’m going to rip out the primary fuel line from Poe’s X-wing,” Jessika growled.

“Oh, come on, Pava. Just because you’re going to die alone doesn’t mean anyone else has to,” Snap laughed. “Your old maid is showing.”

“Fuck you, Wexley. I don’t see you dating anyone.”

“Is that an offer?” He easily caught the greasy rag Jessika threw at his head. “Kidding, I have standards,” he joked. “Plus, I’ll have you know that I’m planning on asking Toye out tomorrow. She’s been giving me this look lately and I’m not about to waste a perfectly good opportunity.”

“Am I seriously the only single person left on this base?” she asked. “Why is everyone so hyped up on romance right now? Like, I get it, we just had a major victory, but why is all the PDA so necessary? We need some stricter rules about that around here.”

“You sound bitter and lonely. Maybe you should start a club.”

Jessika rolled her eyes. “Get stuffed, Snap.” She stood and stretched. “I’m going to dinner, don’t bother following me. I’m going to tell them not to feed you.”

Snap scrambled to his feet at her words and dove at her. Jessika shrieked and took off running, laughing like a maniac, with Snap hot on her heels.

\-----------------------------

Jessika was lying on her back in her bunk, flying a miniature old-model X-wing above her head. A knock at the door was followed by Rey’s head poking around it, smiling at the sight of Jessika holding the toy. “Is this where the Bitter and Lonely Club meets?” she asked, entering the room and leaning against the wall by the door.

Jessika sat up abruptly, her jaw slack. “I am going to kill him,” she said, her cheeks dusted pink. “I’m actually going to murder him.”

Rey quirked an eyebrow. “I think General Organa might have something to say about that,” she said.

“I don’t care. Snap deserves to die. Die a very slow death. I wonder if there’s a sarlacc nearby. That would be fitting.”

“So I take it you’re not actually bitter and lonely, then,” Rey laughed.

“No!” Jessika snapped automatically, then, “. . . yes.”

“Well I guess I’ve come to the right place,” Rey said, inviting herself further into the room and hopping onto the end of Jessika’s bunk, tucking a leg underneath her.

Jessika shrugged, tracking Rey’s movements. “I suppose. Although I much prefer ‘fierce and independent’ to ‘bitter and lonely’.”

“Naturally,” Rey agreed. “Is it just you and me, then?”

“There’s not an actual club,” Jessika said indignantly, causing Rey to chuckle.

“Snap was right, it is fun to make you mad,” she laughed.

“You’re not making me mad,” Jessika protested.

“Are you going to disagree with everything I say?” Rey asked.

“No,” Jessika grumbled. Rey beamed at her.

“So tell me about yourself,” she said, switching subjects. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before. Finn is the first real friend I’ve had, and while we do have a lot in common, he’s really such a boy in the end. And his . . . entanglement . . . with Poe Dameron takes up most of his free time these days. Other than BB-8 and Chewbacca, my list of friends is fairly limited. I’m looking forward to getting to know someone who might be a bit more like me.”

Jessika studied Rey’s face, admiring the fine bone structure and amiable quirk to her lips. She watched as Rey’s tongue made an appearance to moisten her lower lip, then bit it. Vaguely, she understood she was supposed to be answering a question. What was it? Something about girlfriends? _No. Nope, don’t go there, Jess_ she told herself. _That’s not what she meant and you know it._

“Jessika?” Rey said expectantly.

Jessika’s breath caught at the sound of her name coming from Rey’s mouth. _God, I’m pathetic,_ she thought. “Um, what do you want to know?” she managed, dragging her eyes back up to meet Rey’s.

“Where did you grow up? What was it like?”

Jessika set her X-wing model onto the desk next to her bunk and got into a more comfortable position. Rey leaned forward, anxious to learn about her new friend. Jess cleared her throat, smiling at Rey’s eagerness, and began speaking.

“I was born on a planet called Dandoran . . .”

\-------------------------

Jessika was parched.

She’d answered all of the young Jedi’s questions about her childhood and everything leading up to joining the Resistance, and then answered all the subsequent questions about what she knew about the Jedi and their legends. Some of the other pilots had started filtering back into the dorm, Rey greeting each of them with enthusiasm as they returned and began getting ready for bed. It was clear by their equally enthusiastic responses that Rey was universally adored on the base, and Jessika couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

“Rey,” she interrupted as the girl was about to ask her another question, “let’s take this to the kitchen. I could use a drink and I think some of these guys are going to sleep soon.”

Rey’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I don’t want to keep you from bed if you’re getting tired.”

“No, I’m good. I’ve got plenty of energy. But I am pretty thirsty, and I know where Snap hid a bottle of spice liquor. I won it from him fair and square, but I keep forgetting to ask him for it. Do you drink?”

“I . . . never have, before,” Rey stammered. “Jakku was so dry, and alcohol dehydrates you. With the scarcity of water, it would have been suicide to try it. But I think I’d like to.”

Jessika stood, pulling on her boots. “It’s settled then. Let’s grab that bottle and take it outside, I think it’s probably still pretty warm out there.”

Rey stood up and stretched, and Jessika tried not to notice the stretch of skin that revealed a well-muscled abdomen where her shirt lifted up. She led the way out of the dorms toward the kitchen, where they retrieved the bottle of spice liquor and then made their way outside to where Jess’s X-wing was parked. Jessika climbed up first, then offered a hand to help Rey up, but Rey was already clambering up the other side. Jess rolled her eyes at herself. She knew better, the girl was a Jedi. She didn’t need help with anything.

The two of them settled on the wing, their backs against the center section with their feet propped up against the engine, and Jessika opened the bottle. She tipped it just enough to let a little into her mouth, enough for a taste.

She made a face. “I’m afraid it’s not very good,” she apologized, passing it to Rey who took it hesitantly.

Rey sniffed the top and cringed. “Wish me luck,” she said. She didn’t wait for Jessika’s ‘good luck’ before she tipped enough into her mouth to make her cheeks bulge.

Jessika stared at her in shock. Rey’s brow furrowed and her eyes watered, but she didn’t spit any of it out. Only a tiny amount leaked out of the corner of her mouth before she swallowed it all down.

“You’re right, it’s horrible,” she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and passing the bottle back to Jessika.

Jessika took it silently, still gawking.

“What?” Rey asked, “did I miss some?” She wiped at her mouth again.

Jessika shook her head in wonder. “How the hell did you do that? This stuff tastes like spiced rocket fuel.”

Rey shrugged. “I’ve had worse. Growing up, with water as scarce as it was, I couldn’t really be picky about what I drank it from. I’m fairly certain I’ve actually had a bit of rocket fuel before.”

Jess took a bigger sip this time, struggling to swallow past the taste. “Ugh,” she shuddered. Rey reached for the bottle again.

“You might want to be careful,” Jessika warned, “you may be able to handle the flavor, but that stuff packs a kick like you wouldn’t believe. I think you just drank like three shots in one go.”

“I don’t feel any different,” Rey said, taking another drink that was almost as big as her first.

“Ooookay!” Jess said, lunging over and taking the bottle back. “I think that’s probably good. Let’s wait a little while before drinking any more. It doesn’t hit you right away.”

The way Rey was smiling at her made her take another quick drink before setting the bottle down on her other side, away from where Rey could get to it. She eyed the other girl, concerned. “You ate dinner, right?”

Rey nodded. “Of course. I saw you there, you know. I always see you at meals. But we’ve never talked before today. Why is that?”

Jessika decided not to share that she always saw Rey at meals, too. The young Jedi was always surrounded by their fellow Resistance fighters, chatting happily with whoever came over to talk to her. Lucky for Jess, nobody ever caught her looking—or if they did, they never said anything about it. But she had a sneaking suspicion that it was because they were too busy looking at Rey, too.

“Different circles, I guess,” Jess shrugged. Rey gave a quiet ‘hmm’ in response.

The two sat there in comfortable silence for a while, looking up at the stars. Jessika’s X-wing was at the very end of the row, near the Millennium Falcon, so they were close enough to the forest to hear the various animals and insects that inhabited it. It was peaceful, and the company was good, and the liquor was beginning to have a relaxing effect on them both. Jessika sighed contentedly and rested her head back against the cockpit, letting her eyes fall closed.

\---------------

She didn’t know how long she’d drifted off, but when she woke up, Jessika noticed the stars were in a different position than before, and Rey’s head was on her shoulder. The night air had grown chilly, but Rey’s closeness added a warmth she wasn’t sure was entirely due to body heat. She turned her head slightly to see her better, and the small movement caused Rey to lift her head.

“You’re awake!” Rey said happily, no trace of sleep in her eyes.

Jessika rubbed at her face. “How long was I out for?” she asked.

“Only about an hour. I’ve been meditating—or, trying to, that is. I’m actually finding it quite difficult to do under the influence of the alcohol.”

“Hmm,” Jess said, “you don’t really seem drunk. Which is weird, because I feel a little drunk, and you had way more liquor than I did.”

“Oh, I definitely feel it,” Rey corrected her. “I can barely see straight right now.” She giggled. “I also feel incredibly tranquil, but it’s impossible to focus. How does one ‘seem drunk’?”

“Most people can’t really speak as well when they’re very drunk,” Jessika said. “You, on the other hand, are extremely articulate, as always. People also tend to have lowered inhibitions, and say or do things they end up regretting once the alcohol’s left their system.”

“Lowered inhibitions . . . that must be why it’s been so difficult to resist kissing you,” Rey said matter-of-factly.

Jessika was glad for the darkness that hid her furious blushing. “Resist k—uh, what?” she choked. So much for the night chill; she was about to combust.

“Kissing you,” Rey repeated, and leaned closer. Jessika could smell the spicy alcohol on her breath, mixed with something indescribably Rey. “Can I?” the Jedi asked.

Jessika was having trouble processing. Did Rey actually want to kiss her? Was this some kind of experiment for her? Did she care? No, no she didn’t.

“Okay,” Jess breathed out, and before she could take in her next breath, Rey’s lips had pressed against her own.

Jessika inhaled sharply and her hand came up to cradle the side of Rey’s jaw. Rey’s warm, slender frame pushed into her from the side, their lips moving together slowly, like they had all the time in the world. If Jessika had been standing, she would’ve had to sit down. Her pulse was racing, her heart thudding heavy in her chest, and she could feel Rey’s jaw flex beneath her palm as they kissed. Rey was gentle with her, almost holding back like she was afraid she’d hurt her. She hummed against Jessika’s mouth before drawing back and sliding back into her seat with a sigh.

Jessika was in a daze. Her hand dropped limply into her lap and she stared out across the runway as her mind struggled to catch up to what had just happened.

“That was nice,” Rey commented, sounding very pleased. “That was my first kiss, you know. I have a feeling it will always be the best.”

Jessika rolled her head to the side to look at Rey, who was looking up at the stars with a small grin. “You’re joking,” she said, and she wondered what her own expression looked like right now. She couldn’t exactly feel her face—except for her lips, which were still tingling pleasantly. Rey looked over at her, her eyes flitting over Jessika’s lips and then moving lower. Jess shifted uncomfortably, looking down and feeling self-conscious about what she was wearing.

“Not joking,” Rey said softly. Jess looked up again to meet her eyes. They were nothing but sincere.

She couldn’t believe how beautiful Rey was. Her eyes crinkled some at the corners as she smiled. Her hair was still tied back, but some had escaped to fall in loose wisps to frame her face. Her expression was open and honest, and Jess had never seen it otherwise. She didn’t think Rey was even capable of deceit. She was biting that full lower lip again, and Jessika’s eyes were drawn to it, wanting nothing more than to dive back in and capture it.

“Go ahead,” Rey whispered.

So she did.


End file.
